People Worship – What it is and how the Lord is stripping me of it.

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10

So today I sit here to write and before I even thought about starting, I felt like today’s post was going to be different. A little more personal, a little more revealing, a little more healing, and a lot more scary to type. Now I don’t know why that was. I have a rough list of some topics to write about but honestly, I just ask the Holy Spirit which direction I’m to go in each day. Sometimes a conversation with a friend will inspire me. Other times a Facebook post or a podcast might spark something in my spirit that makes me want to write. So I’m not sure what about today seemed different as I waited for the Lord to show me the direction He wanted me to go. I do know this everything that has happened my entire life and especially these last two weeks have been leading up to this post. I pray that once you read this you don’t find it underwhelming (this is part of my problem) but either way it doesn’t really matter. I am writing this for me, out of obedience to the Lord. Because I know that the other side of this post there is FREEDOM for me. And I don’t take that lightly. I yearn for a greater sense of freedom with each breath that I take. So I chose to submit to the calling of the Lord to write this and trust Him with the outcome.

My name is Cristina and I struggle with people pleasing. I might act like I don’t care what people think or say of me but I do. I care a lot. I care TOO MUCH. And the Lord has been sweet to reveal the “why” of this a few minutes as I went to sit down and write this. You wanna know why? I’ll tell you why, because

I WORSHIP PEOPLE.

Yes, it’s an ugly truth and I sit here in tears as I type this. Not out of shame but out of sadness that I’ve been displacing my God given need and ability to worship to something other than God. I’ve been asking the Lord to reveal and search my heart and it hit me like a tsunami of emotion. How do I know this is the root? How did I make the connection? Well, I’ve known most of my entire life that I was a people pleaser. I’d say yes to things I didn’t want to just so people would like me and not get angry, I’d go above and beyond my energy and resources to make everyone’s life easier at the expense of my sanity, health, family, relationships, and/or finances. And boy did I pay the price! I’d find myself being resentful and bitter towards people that would take “advantage” of my kindness. But the truth was, none of it came from a place of kindness, it came from a need. A need that no man or woman could fill. The approval of a person could never fill the hole that was in my heart. So what would I do when I got angry, upset, or disappointed? I’d stuff it. I’d stuff those feelings way down in the depths of my soul. Yet no matter how far I buried them the consequences and scars would not go away. They’d manifest in lashing out (every couple of years), depression, anxiety, insomnia, and whole slew of self-destructive behavior. It sounds pathetic and sad doesn’t it? But not all was lost.

For they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God. – John 12:43

Here’s the good news: When I started having a relationship with Jesus Christ I realized how broken I was and the only one who could save me was God. Things got better. I was delivered from anxiety, depression, and insomnia. My life totally changed. Some of it came instantaneously, other things took longer and I had to work through because healing and freedom comes in layers. The amazing thing about God is how He knows how much we can handle at once. The more I pressed in and sought Him, the more He would reveal and heal me. With each day since the day I was saved I can honestly say I have walked in more and more freedom.

Let’s fast forward to a couple of weeks ago when my iphone died the painful death of the white screen. One day, poof…it was gone. Now those who know me personally, know how attached I was to my phone. To say I was dependent on it is a huge understatement. But for some reason this time I didn’t go into a panic. Maybe I was too busy to care? I was busy but I doubt it. I started to feel a huge sense of freedom. It was bizarre. The item that I thought was my lifeline to the outside world, I was happier without. It felt nice to not be readily available to answer everyone’s questions. I enjoyed not being sucked into other people’s drama, or reading and participating in gossip talk (let me just say that if you’re talking about someone and it’s not uplifting and life giving, then it is GOSSIP…I’m guilty of it, won’t deny it). I FELT FREE! I loved it. I learned a lot which I’ll save for another time. One thing I noticed about myself was how horrible I felt about myself when people who I would hear from daily  fell into the abyss of the white screen when I no longer had a phone.

Sweet peeps, hear my heart: I know people are busy. We all have lives, families, priorities, life gets busy, things happen. I get it. And I pretty quickly realized it wasn’t about anyone…this was about me. I started to ask the Lord why I was feeling so alone and isolated. I had no reason to. I saw my friends, We had a  party, my family was here, I have great co-workers, a huge network of brothers and sisters I connect with online…I’m part of an AMAZING TRIBE! So what was wrong with me? What in my heart was off that I was feeling rejected and alone? To be totally honest and transparent, it came to an all-time high over the past couple of days. But now I realize the Lord allowed me to go through that storm, those feelings, to bring me to this point right now. He’s called me to write about worship and taking worship to a whole new level in our lives. But how could I do that if there was a part of me that still worshipped people? I wrote about it yesterday, displaced worship. The heart check was not how we worship but who or what we worship. And as I closed that blog post in prayer little did I know He would be answering my prayer so quickly.

You see now I know, and knowing is freedom and power. I can now surrender that to the Lord and allow Him to take me to a new level of freedom and that my friends is an exhilarating feeling. Once you get a taste of freedom you CRAVE more. People pleasing or people worship is placing people on a pedestal and expecting them to fulfill needs that only God can. It’s rooted in fear. Yes people pleasing is rooted in fear, fear of rejection, fear of man. I am no longer a slave to fear…I am a child of God!

Lord, we praise you for truth and revelation. We seek freedom in you and everything you have to offer. Holy Spirit wash over us, continue to open our eyes and hearts for anything that is holding us back from worshipping God, our Lord and Savior, the way He has called us to. Lord may we never seek the glory of man more than the glory of God. Lord we love you and thank you for healing and freedom. Teach us Lord how to worship you in ways worthy of our calling. In Jesus’ sweet and Holy name we pray. Amen.

Many Blessings,

Cristina

Why do we worship? - Part 2

The Question:

Why do we worship?

              

The Answer:

“First, because he’s worthy. Second, because that is what we were created to do.” George Piazzi

Today we explore the second part of the answer to the question, "Why do we worship?". If you are just jumping onto my blog, we dove into the first part of the answer in this post click here to read, "Why'd do we worship? -Part 1. With that out of the way, let's explore the second reason why we worship:

Because it is what we were created to do.

Yes. Wow, just wow. How do I even begin to try to explain this truth? I guess I really don't need to. It's cited time and time again in the Bible. You know that book that is living and active? Yes, that one. Let's read some of these together. It's important that we do. 

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.

Psalm 150:6 | NIV

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:25-26 

God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.

John 4:24 | NIV | 

Praise the Lord, my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;

his love endures forever.

1 Chronicles 16:34 | NIV

My mouth is filled with your praise,

declaring your splendor all day long.

Psalm 71:8 | NIV | 

You, God, are my God,

earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1 | NIV 

Why are we reading these? I will tell you why. We were designed and created to worship the One and True God, and when we don't...the consequences are deadly. I know, I know...that might sound harsh and overly dramatic but it is the TRUTH. When we go against what we were created for and what we were created to do, we are going against God's perfect plan for our lives, we are going against what is natural, what is divine, what is holy. And that, my sweet peeps is a threat to the health of our souls, our bodies, our finances, our relationships, even our salvation (if we haven't accepted Jesus Christ the Lord and Savior of our lives). I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty deadly to me.

Have you ever noticed how some people (maybe even yourself...let's keep it real now)have no problem raising their hands in the air and screaming to the top of their lungs at a concert yet they feel uncomfortable doing it at church or to a song that sings of God's greatness and glory? I call it out not to be judgmental or act superior. I call it out because, THAT WAS ME. Have you ever wondered why this is? It's simple, it's because worship is what we were created to do. That's why it feels so natural. Music and song are the languages God created to praise and give Him glory. So our bodies and our spirits, naturally ease into this expression of worship. And you know who knows this better than any one of us? The enemy does.

Those who know me and know my heart, know that I don't like to give the enemy too much credit. Our God is greater than any deceiver, accuser, or demon. THAT IS TRUTH. And even though he is a defeated foe and the victory is ours, it doesn't mean he doesn't try to keep us separated from God. You see, the enemy before his fall, was the greatest of the worship angels in heaven. Music was his language. We also know that for every trait, gift, and blessing that comes from God, the enemy has a cheap counterfeit.

So what does he do? What is the scheme? He diverts our worship to the latest rock star. He has us singing along pointless words to a pop song, grinding to vulgar lyrics as we raise our hands in the air and sing about things we would never do (or admit to doing). Sneaky isn't he? And he doesn't always use music. Sometimes we worship and bow to other things like; friendships, money, status, power, social groups, food, drugs, or maybe that bottle of wine. I'm no prude, but we are living in times where beautiful women of God, His princesses, daughters of the Most High King post memes celebrating and worshipping the glass of wine they're going to have at the end of the day. No judgment here, I've done that many a time and I could go on and on with examples or stupid ways I've worshipped the wrong things. But my heart isn't to condemn or shame or make us feel guilty on our displaced worship. Because the truth is that I write these posts not so much for you, as I do for myself. 

I believe the Lord wants to set us free. He wants us to identify our displaced worship so that we can repent and bring it back to Him. He wants us to bring our focus back to Him. Not for His sake but for the sake of our hearts and souls. He wants us to empty our hearts of anything that's not of Him so we can do what we were created to do...Worship Him! That will look differently in each one of us. He made us beautifully unique and different. In my case it might look like raising my hands at church or in the car. To you it might be creating a beautiful meal for your friends and family, offering your workout or eating plan for His glory. For  your friend it might be writing, offering a smile, or serving in kid's ministry. You might show your acts of worship in the workplace, through your art, homeschooling your kids, or how you steward your finances. It's all of that.  There is no right or wrong way to worship. The determining factor or heart check isn't how you worship but rather who or what you worship.

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us in Your image. We praise You and love You Lord. Holy Spirit reveal in our hearts anything that we are worshipping that is not God. Lord we refuse to accept counterfeits in our lives, especially when it comes to who or what we are worshipping. Lord we turn away from worshipping anything that is not You. We thank you and praise You for your grace and eternal forgiveness. It is in Jesus' sweet and Holy Name that we pray. Amen.

Many Blessings, 

Cristina

Worship Wednesday - Time for a Praise Break

A Psalm for giving thanks. Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lordis good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 100:1-5

I'm so excited that today is Wednesday and that the day is almost over! 

Time to get real. It's been a very difficult 48 hours. I feel exhausted, drained, torn in a thousand directions, and like I've been running a marathon. Hundreds of miles driven, working full time, having family over, taking care of  the baby, my husband, and all this on maybe 5 hours of sleep. It really does take it's toll. And you know what? It hasn't been easy or pretty, and I haven't been the most graceful under pressure, at all. All that being said, not once have I stopped worshipping and praising the Lord. And that my sweet peeps has made ALL the difference.

You know why? Because despite of it all, HE IS WORTHY! We explored this in yesterday's post  titled: Why Do We Worship? So despite my condition, my feelings, my exhaustion, and mood...I CHOSE to worship. 

Yes, you "heard" right, I chose. Remember that; it's a choice. It takes effort and it's not always easy. The thing is though, that with all of today's technology, it is readily available. How did I do it? Well, first of all, I made the choice to worship (I hate to harp on it, but when life gets rough we must be intentional about making this choice. Once I made the choice, I just played the playlist on my phone and clicked on my favorite worship artist's radio channel on iTunes (Pandora and Spotify also work). I blasted that music in my car and sang my lungs out. Yes, that's right...I drove down I-35 with my hands in the air at the top of my lungs singing and praying and praising the Most High God, for the only reason that He is Worthy. And guess what? It made all the difference! Did my day get easier? Not really. Was everything roses and sunshine? Not at all. 

Actually, we even got more bad news. The only thing that changed was MY HEART. Can you believe it? When I switched the focus from my frustrations, problems, exhaustion, thoughts, and feelings to the One and Only True God, nothing else mattered. Not only did I feel better but the Lord renewed me. He gave me energy that only comes from the Holy Spirit  (Starbucks ain't got nothing on Holy Spirit power). He was so gracious that He not only gave me my portion, he filled me to overflow so much so I was able to get on Periscope and share an encouraging word with others. That's how God works! To think that only minutes earlier I was on the verge of tears and collapse. Totally broken to the world, yet that's the vehicle God chose to deliver a message (but we will save the How God uses broken vessels to shine His light for another day) The Holy Spirit empowered me to spread the love of God with a smile on my face!  (If you'd like to watch that broadcast click here.) I don't say this to brag, but rather to encourage you to make the choice to take a <<praise break>>. If you've never tried it before, go ahead do it now! 

I've made to easy for you. I've included a list of worship songs that our amazing tribe members put together. You don't have to go anywhere, just scroll down this page and click away. Turn up the volume and get lost in prayer and praise! 

Much Blessings,

Cristina

P.S. Thank's to all my Facebook friends for all their amazing suggestions! We are a tribe and I'm blessed God has brought us together. I love how y'all have come on this journey with me...If you didn't share on my original post, go ahead and post your favorites in the comments below. I'll use them for our next Worship Wednesday ;)

Why do we worship? - Part 1

The Question:

Why do we worship?

               

The Answer:

“First, because he’s worthy. Second, because that is what we were created to do.” George Piazzi

 

Sounds pretty simple and straightforward enough, doesn’t it? Then why is it so hard for us to worship? Why do we find ourselves waiting for Sunday, the next midweek service, concert, or women’s conference in order to “get our worship on”? Could it be, maybe just maybe, that we aren’t believing  one or both of the truths stated above? I know that I’ve been there myself, not once or twice, but rather many a time. And depending on what was going on in my life and heart, would be the area where I would be lacking faith.

Let’s take a look at the first one. Because He is worthy. That in and of its own is reason enough for us to worship, want to worship, and aspire to worship our Lord 24/7. But for some reason it doesn’t work out that way. It’s not like I’d ever say out loud or even in my thoughts that the Lord isn’t worthy. Never. I would never in a million years utter those words. I doubt the thought would even cross my mind. And there is the problem, God’s worthiness, along with all of His other divine attributes is not a matter of thought or knowledge. You see, I know 100% that He is worthy. I know this with every fiber of my being. I know it when I am sad. I know it when I’m angry. I know it when I’m excited, happy, and joyous.

You see it’s not the knowing that’s the problem, it’s our hearts that are the problem. Yes, we can know things all day long but if we don’t believe it in our hearts, it’s useless information. It might sound harsh or discouraging to you but don’t lose heart. Follow along with me, because this is actually great news. The Lord makes our hearts new, all we need to do is ask. His word says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” – Ezekiel 36:26

 

So you might be thinking to yourself, “What is she talking about? I have a new heart. He gave me one years ago when I came to know the Lord.” You’re right! You do have a new heart and that’s why you have the ability to take the truth of the fact that God is worthy from the confines of your brain to the bottom of your heart. How do we do this? Isn’t this automatic when we come into relationship with the Lord? Well, yes and no. The truth is we do get a new heart, a heart capable of loving like Christ does, of being compassionate when the world hits you hard, a heart to forgive the unforgivable, an amazing heart capable of amazing and miraculous things! So what’s stopping us? Why aren’t these truths sinking in? Why is hard to worship? Why can’t we let old grudges go?

It’s because we have wounds, battle scars, tears in our hearts that haven’t been healed. The Lord is waiting for us to come to Him to heal our hearts from betrayal, abuse, trauma, harsh words, financial difficulties, bitterness, anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, abandonment, loneliness…He wants to heal it all. The more scars and battle wounds we have the harder it is for truths to sink into our hearts. They become scabs, barriers, walls that prevent us from fully experience God’s love. How does all of this tie into worship? Well, if our hearts are filled with wounds and battle scars there’s no room for His truth and love to sink in. If I asked you if wanted a deeper worship life, your answer might be yes or no. Totally fair, I get the whole personal preference thing. Now if I asked you if you wanted to feel more of God’s love and presence in your life, I’d have a hard time believing that any believer would answer no to this question. You see my sweet peeps, a lifestyle of worship comes naturally as the overflow of knowing that you are loved by your Heavenly Father. It won’t feel forced, it won’t be a burden, and you will desire to do it more and more every chance you get.

So what to do? Easy, find a quiet place alone with your thoughts or journal and invite the Holy Spirit to search your heart. To find the wounds that have become a wall stopping you from feeling all the love the Lord has for you. It’s hard to get to that place sometimes. We have been conditioned to believe that being quiet or alone is a bad thing. But you aren’t alone, you are with the Lord. If you need something to help you get into a spirit of prayer, listen to this song, Good Good Father by House Fires,as you go to our father in prayer.

Holy Spirit search our hearts today for anything that is stopping us from receiving and believing in our hearts ALL of the love you have for us. Show us how to bring those things to Our Heavenly Father so that through His Son Jesus Christ, we may be healed. Lord make us whole. Lord heal our hearts. It’s in Jesus’ sweet and Holy Name that we pray. Amen.

This post was so much longer than I originally had in mind that I think it will be easier for us to split it into two posts. So tomorrow we will delve into the reason we were created for: to Worship Him!

Many Blessings,

Cristina