Confession #23: My Story...My Why

**This post is for YOU...this post got completely deleted and not saved as a draft as soon as I hit publish the first time. There was no record of me having typing it whatsoever.I don't believe that was a coincidence. Normally, I would have let it go and even scrapped the post but I know that if you're reading this it's for a reason. My prayer is that however you ended up here, that God pour His love on you wherever you may be. That you may know that you are valued, valuable, and loved beyond belief. That He calls you worthy and courageous...Child of The Most High King.**

On January 24, 2015 I did something I'd never done before. I poured my heart out to share my story in a Facebook post. This is my story:

About two years ago I was at a really dark place in my life. From the outside everything looked good, Facebook fabulous at its finest. I was recently engaged with the man of my dreams, I had friends, I loved Texas, yet I was a mess. I couldn't understand why I couldn't succeed career wise, why I felt like a failure, why I was depressed, and anxious. I was paralyzed on my couch literally one day and cried a desperate prayer. I was going to church because it was "the right thing to do". I found a great job and started planning my wedding to be let go on the day of my birthday. My income was supposed to pay for our wedding. I had no answers, life didn't seem fair. So we came to the decision to stop trying to find a job. It should have been a huge relief but it wasn't. You see my identity was wrapped around achieving academic and career success. It was where I placed my worth. Without that I was lost, a nobody. Yet deep down I knew that that distant God I prayed to would come through and I would have some sort of celebration and small wedding. I was angry, I felt useless, and alone. And guess what? When I gave up and surrendered my will, my expectations, my vision...I found God. See I always knew He existed but I didn't know Him. I was going to my church every week to talk to the ladies I had "nothing" in common with (or so I thought) to talk and work through my issues. See I thought I was there to fix myself. But no, God placed me there so He could fix me. These women loved on me, prayed for me, cried with me, became my sisters. And along the way...well, my life changed. Was it instant? No. Was it life altering, irrevocable, overwhelming, and mind blowing yes. You see, that year when I thought was a waste and I was doing nothing...I got to know God. Not only know Him, fall head over heels, madly, and insanely in love with Him! Something that would've never happened if I had had my dream job. I'd would've been too busy to find Him. Did my life circumstances change overnight? No. Did all my hardships disappear? Not at all. In many ways they got harder. But since then I've changed. I KNOW THAT I KNOW who I am. I know where my worth, strength, and beauty come from. They come from God, the most High King. I am His daughter, His heir. I know joy like I've never known before. I've faced circumstances that would've destroyed me in the past and have come out of it with more joy, strength, and faith. I still don't understand it all, I still get impatient and wonder why bad things happen to good people. But I know that God works all things for good. I've seen my family be blessed by him, I have family in people I've known for so little time, I've seen miracles, healings, but above all ...I've seen God's faithfulness through it all. He will speak to you through the storm...you need just to call on Him. This is what I speaking of earlier of building an altar. This is one of my altars. When my faith is tested and I am weary, when I feel like I've deviated from my calling, or that I'm not hearing from God I will come back to this holy place. This moment in time when there was an exchange between Heaven and earth.

As I stumbled on this post tonight, I felt like someone needed to read it. They needed to know that there is hope, that today can be the day where their story changes. What's your story? Have you built your altars of faith? You don't have to do it alone. I've been there before you, in part because I know God has called me to help others embrace their story and realize wherever it may be at, there is not a period but rather a semicolon. You aren't alone. Your story doesn't end here. 

Much love,

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**

Confession #21: I know my purpose...and I want you to know yours!

I do not say this to be cocky or come across as presumptuous. I didn't always know my purpose. I many times wondered if I even had one. Have you ever had one of those days? You know the ones where you're not even sure if you'd be missed if all of a sudden you ceased to exist. Well, I have and it's not a fun place to be.

It's so sad that so many of us can go for years or our entire lives without knowing our purpose. That is not how it's supposed to be. God wants us to know our purpose so that we may walk confidently in our calling. And don't for a second think you don't have one, because you do! 

So how do you go about finding or better yet discovering what your purpose is? How did I find mine? I'll tell you the short version in this post and I'll invite you to dig deeper into this topic with me. It's something I'm passionate about. Purpose is all about identity. If you don't know who you are and whose you are, there is no way you can discover what it is you're here to do. It sounds simple but it truly is fundamental.

I began to comprehend and believe I had a specific purpose in life and in the Kingdom of God the moment I knew who I was in Him. And let me tell you it's not about just singing "I am a child of God" at church. You have to know that you know that you are His. You need to know where your identity truly lies.

Identity isn't about you trying to live up to the labels and roles that the world has placed on you. Your identity has nothing to do with the car you drive, your profession, who your married to, where you work, where you live, how you look, who you know, how tough you are, hoe much money you make, or the sins you've committed. It's none of that.

Now the enemy four souls would love for you to believe that, and let me tell you he has many convinced. He wants you to believe that because if you believe your identity is based on anything I've mentioned before than he has kept you focused on striving and living up to that standard and no matter whether it's labeled a "good" or "bad thing, it is exhausting, time consuming, and futile.

When we start to believe our own true identity, the striving stops. We can slow down, we can receive, and most importantly we can listen to what God has to say. When we listen to what God has to say, and I mean really listen there is nothing we can't do and nothing He will hold back from us, including our purpose.

A huge part of discovering my purpose came when I was able to develop my personal mission statement. This was birthed from a place of prayer, encouragement, and being open to listen to what the Holy Spirit had to say. In order to do this I had to identify and abolish beliefs I had about myself before I knew Christ. That exercise alone was so powerful, almost like losing into the clearest mirror and then looking into what God had in store for me in the future. If this is something you'd like me to do a Facebook live or Periscope  broadcast on, leave a comment below and make sure to follow me here or here. This isn't something God wants to keep hidden from you or have you spend your whole life searching for. Truth is, whether you know it or not, you are very much so living out your purpose already. Now, once you know what it is and you walk in the steps that God has aligned for you, the power is so much greater.

As for me, my mission statement which I wrote 3 years ago was this:

My mission is to bring defeated women to know their identity in Christ by sharing my story and bombarding them with God's truth.

Wow...and once again, I just realized how sweet God is! That is what this blog is all about. It wasn't planned, it's not about branding, it wasn't intentional to tie this all in. I honestly write what's on my mind and make no edits as I go. Afterwards I only correct typos (if I find them). So here I find myself living out the mission statement the Holy Spirit gave me 3 years ago in a whole new way. It's exciting and amazing and you can have this too...will you join me?

Much Love,

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**

Confession #23: My Story...My Why.

This post was originally a Facebook status from January 14, 2015. The Lord had me share  bit of my story in that post and this is what I shared:

About two years ago I was at a really dark place in my life. From the outside everything looked good, Facebook fabulous at its finest. I was recently engaged with the man of my dreams, I had friends, I loved Texas, yet I was a mess. I couldn't understand why I couldn't succeed career wise, why I felt like a failure, why I was depressed, and anxious. I was paralyzed on my couch literally one day and cried a desperate prayer. I was going to church because it was "the right thing to do". I found a great job and started planning my wedding to be let go on the day of my birthday. My income was supposed to pay for our wedding. I had no answers, life didn't seem fair. So we came to the decision to stop trying to find a job. It should have been a huge relief but it wasn't. You see my identity was wrapped around achieving academic and career success. It was where I placed my worth. Without that I was lost, a nobody. Yet deep down I knew that that distant God I prayed to would come through and I would have some sort of celebration and small wedding. I was angry, I felt useless, and alone. And guess what? When I gave up and surrendered my will, my expectations, my vision...I found God. See I always knew He existed but I didn't know Him. I was going to my church every week to talk to the ladies I had "nothing" in common with (or so I thought) to talk and work through my issues. See I thought I was there to fix myself. But no, God placed me there so He could fix me. These women loved on me, prayed for me, cried with me, became my sisters. And along the way...well, my life changed. Was it instant? No. Was it life altering, irrevocable, overwhelming, and mind blowing yes. You see, that year when I thought was a waste and I was doing nothing...I got to know God. Not only know Him, fall head over heels, madly, and insanely in love with Him! Something that would've never happened if I had had my dream job. I'd would've been too busy to find Him. Did my life circumstances change overnight? No. Did all my hardships disappear? Not at all. In many ways they got harder. But since then I've changed. I KNOW THAT I KNOW who I am. I know where my worth, strength, and beauty come from. They come from God, the most High King. I am His daughter, His heir. I know joy like I've never known before. I've faced circumstances that would've destroyed me in the past and have come out of it with more joy, strength, and faith. I still don't understand it all, I still get impatient and wonder why bad things happen to good people. But I know that God works all things for good. I've seen my family be blessed by him, I have family in people I've known for so little time, I've seen miracles, healings, but above all ...I've seen God's faithfulness through it all. He will speak to you through the storm...you need just to call on Him. This is what I speaking of earlier of building an altar. This is one of my altars. When my faith is tested and I am weary, when I feel like I've deviated from my calling, or that I'm not hearing from God I will come back to this holy place. This moment in time when there was an exchange between Heaven and earth.

That's my story...what's yours? Have you built your altars of faith? You don't have to do this alone. That's why I'm here...we're in this together. Today can be the day everything changes.

Much love,

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**