Confession #17: How stuffing myself with food deafened my ears towards God

So in my last post I shared how food was the #1 thing separating me from God. It might sound dramatic but it's 100% true. Food is that one thing that I have yet to overcome. Food is harder than so many other obstacles because of one simple fact: You can't just stop eating! Admit it, you can't.

Partying, wine, worrying, compulsive behavior, drugs, medication, shopping, exercise, gambling, and fill in the blank are all things that you can survive without doing. Now, don't think I'm saying giving up any of these behaviors are easy. They aren't. Every struggle is unique and should never be minimized as we don't know what it's like to walk in the shoes of someone else. But food, you can't avoid. You need it for survival and you can't escape it. FOOD IS EVERYWHERE!

I first noticed that we were bombarded by food options when I did my first fast. As I vowed not to eat for spiritual purposes, I started to notice for the first time how overwhelming food choices were. The simple act of walking into the gas station convenience store would turn into a spiritual and physical battle as I was surrounded by both salty and sweet, hot and cold, crunchy and soft food choices. And that was just the food, let me not even start on the drinks and aromas...

It was hard, but fasting is supposed to be. It's not natural to not hunger and to switch the mindset to hunger God more than food, just goes against our fleshy nature. I was able to fast successfully though. It gave me taste of how clearly I could hear God. I saw Him in everything. I wasn't distracted by food or anything for that matter. I had to rely solely on Him to get through every second of the day. I was close to Him, because I was so aware of my need for Him. He had to sustain me and nourish me.

I pause here to say there are several ways to fast, some don't even involve fasting from food. I am not endorsing or encouraging fasting for health reasons. I have my views but I am not an expert on the topic nor am I a health professional. So please do not take this post as advise on whether to fast or how to fast. I am just sharing with my experience as it helped lead me to the realization that food is a hindrance in my spiritual life.

So for the first time, it clicked. I saw the Biblical importance of fasting and why it is necessary in the spiritual life of a Christian. But it wasn't until a few days ago that I saw that God calling me to fast was also about this moment. This moment of personal revelation. An altar of faith, one to look back on and be reminded of how clearly I heard Him when I removed that distraction and how close I felt to Him because of it.

I will leave this post here for now. I ask you, has there ever been a time where God (or you) removed something from your life and you were able to hear Him clearer or feel Him more? What was this? Were you able to remove this from your life permanently? Let's explore this together...I feel like this confession/topic will be one we will dig in deep with and I would love to know YOUR point of view.

Much love,

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**

Confession #16: Food is the #1 thing that separates me from God.

That has been the most difficult title to type. I came to this realization today as I was talking to God on my drive home. Now I know I've had an issue with food for years. I won't go into all the details,  but it's not an issue that has gone unnoticed by me. I consider myself as someone who is pretty self aware and though I realized the psychological effect food has on me perfectly, I don't think I fully understood the spiritual hold it had on me. And I for sure did not realize that it was the #1 thing that separated me from God.

I started this post last night but I stopped. Not sure why. I wasn't overly exhausted. I had peace and quiet. There must've been something, something deep in me that I didn't want to share or maybe even worse, something I did not want to face. 

Over the past few months I found myself growing further and further away from God. It's not like I started a downhill spiral of poor behavior and bad choices. It was nothing like that but more of me slowly tuning down the radio of God's voice. There are many factors that contributed to this subtle and slow slippery slope, some of which I'm sure you've picked up in as I write in this series. Yet there was something about yesterday. That "AHA" or lightbulb moment came to me as I drove home from work. 

The Lord is faithful and good. He knows my love and passion for Him. He heard my desperate cries and prayers. He was not going to abandon me and let me continue in that season of silence. He is true and faithful. He needed me to be awake and attentive to His voice. He had things to tell me and I needed to be ready to listen.

How did He get me ready? How does any of this have to do with food? I'll share that in my next post. Until then, I ask you: has there ever been a time where food had separated you from God? Let's explore this together, let's  lean in and listen to what He has to say. 

Much Love, 

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**