Yes, it's true. I'd love to say I have this great plan and an outline for all my posts for this write 31 days challenge, but the truth is I don't. Dang, I'd wish I had a centralized theme or a few funny stories to use as material but I don't. The Confessions of a Faithonista is an idea that the Lord gave me a few months ago. It was just a title and I had no idea how I was going to use it. When this challenge came around a lightbulb went off...and this blog series was born.
To be totally honest, I thought it would be much easier than it's turning out to be.The word confession seemed to be perfect. I could just write about anything that came to my mind, giving me the freedom to create a story, share my heart, or speak my mind. Although all of that is true, there's one thing I wasn't counting on. One word that would creep in and throw my game plan into a tailspin. That word is:INSECURITY.
Yes, funny how it found its way into this precious space. How hard could it be to come up with things to write about? Well, just add some insecurity and second guessing and mix with a little overanalyzing and this whole project could come to a standstill.
It starts simple enough, I get an idea and I want to write about it. I can feel the words wanting to ooze out and then it all comes to a screeching halt, the wheels start turning and these are some of the conversations that I have:
- Is that too deep?
- Is it not deep enough?
- Is that really my story to share?
- Will people think I'm weird?
- What if "so and so" reads this?
- Do I sound dumb?
- Is this blog becoming too much of a downer?
- I hope people don't feel sorry for me.
- I'm usually a very positive person.
- Why do I sound so pathetic?
- Why even bother?
- I'm too tired to write anyways.
- Ugh!!!
- That sounds stupid.
- I hope I don't offend anyone.
I could go on and on but you get the picture. I'm sure you've been there too. You don't need to participate in a blogging challenge to encounter insecurity. I have some good news for you. I want to share something really simple but profound and powerful when it comes to facing and slaying the monster of insecurity. I'll start by asking you to look at the word a little differently. Look at it like this:
"In" security instead of insecurity. Why look at it like this? What difference does it make? As I squeeze out some time each night write each night and ultimately hit the punish button, I have found that I am in the most ultimate security there is. I'm in His Security. God has me in His arms. He's wrapped every word I type with grace and healing. And just like that all the insecurities start to melt away.
So if tonight your feeling insecure, you're in the best position you could ever be -- ready to be held in the secure arms of Our Heavenly Father. He's the only One that won't let you down. Let us face our insecurities tonight with the reminder that we indeed insecure...In the secure arms of the God that gave it all for us.
Much love,
Cristina
**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**
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