Confession #3: Tonight I don't feel like writing, like for reals!

So umm...yeah. I kinda don't feel like writing tonight. Like not at all.  I don't care about punctuation or grammar or any of it. I couldn't think of a specific thing I wanted to focus on, not anything confession worthy anyway.

I'm exhausted, worn out, fatigued, and just plain tired. But for some reason I felt compelled to write just that. For the first time ever I'm committed to this process. For the first time  ever I'm pushing through the exhaustion to do something just for me. No deadline at work, no one waiting on a response, no one to jump my butt if I don't get it done. As I sit here and type this out, I must admit that I honestly thought it would be a couple of sentences and a meme like this one:

But to my surprise I'm coming more and more alive as I sit and type. It's weird, and fun, and amazing all at once. I feel like I've finally get what this whole writing thing is all about. It's not about being the best, most eloquent, admired, followed, or witty writer. It's not about how many people even read what I write. It doesn't really even matter if not one person does.

God told me very clearly a couple of years ago, to write. I did not obey. I allowed every single excuse get in the way. I didn't understand why He wanted me to write. What did He even want me to say? So instead of digging into prayer and asking Him, I took the path of less resistance. And oh, how I've paid for it! If only I had known the release, the healing, the rejuvenating, and freedom I am finding at this moment by just jotting down my thoughts, I would have been ALL IN! I guess God really does know what He's doing...Oh when will learn? 

So yeah...tonight I didn't want to write, but as I did God brought a little part of me back to life. Ahhh...and it feels so good!

Much Love,

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**