Confession #25: Let God be the Curator, not just the Creator of your life

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
-Ephesians 2:10

Have you ever walked into an art museum? Have you ever been impressed by the sheer beauty and magnitude of the space you were standing in? Not only are the pieces of art displayed, beautiful and unique, but usually the building and interior space is too. It can be one of the most breath taking experiences you can encounter. This is one of the reasons I decided to get married in an art museum, El Museo de Arte de Ponce in my hometown of Ponce, Puerto Rico.

It was truly a dream and God ordained. We were surrounded not only by amazing architecture but some of the most amazing and valuable pieces of art. It was this image, the museum of my wedding, that God used to speak to me on friendships during a season of feeling much isolation (check out the first part of this post here).

As I cried out to Him, wondering what I did wrong and felt so alone, He was quick and gentle to answer. He showed me the beautiful art museum and said to me, "Cristina, let me be the Curator of your life and your friendships". It clicked. I got it. Well, I thought I did because the more I prayed into that simple image and phrase He gave me, the more I began to understand all that it encompassed. See, I never thought I would share this with anyone. Some revelation is meant just for us. Us and God, to be hidden in the secret place. I must tell you though, as the weeks went on and I saw this come to life in my friendships and relationships, the more I knew that when the time was right it was meant to be shared.

The image above encompasses the message that God wanted to get across to me, EXCEPT, and this is a big except...He wants us to let Him edit our lives. He is the Curator. Yes, not only the Creator but the Curator of our lives if we allow Him to be. The most important role in a museum is the Curator. It's defined as someone who manages an art collection or exhibit. They are paid to decide which piece of art goes where, how it will be displayed, if it will be a temporary exhibit or a permanent fixture. Do you see where I am going?

Every person in your life is a masterpiece. God created each and everyone of us. We are unique, one of a kind masterpieces. Our lives, our friendships are kind of like the museum. Our space is filled with people and relationships. They cannot all be in the same space at the same time. Can you imagine a cluttered museum? Not only can't you observe its beauty but you just don't have space for every piece of art that is out there at the same time. Sometimes some exhibits are temporary, some pieces of art are on loan from other museums. Some get lent out and then come back. Some pieces of art are fixtures that will be highlighted and on display for the life of the museum. Does any of this take away from each individual piece of art's beauty? No, not at all. That's just the nature of museums. Some pieces of art never see the light of day...hidden in a back room being restored for years and years. Still yet they are there, adding value, being worked on, part of the story.

God showed me that the relationships and friendships in my life are the same as the masterpieces in the museum. He wanted to show me that what seemed like isolation and loneliness was just a shifting of art. He showed me if I allowed Him to curate my friendships I would be able to see the bigger picture. He reminded me of the friends that no longer were but made my life beautiful at one time. He showed me the faithful friends behind the scenes, the ones that hadn't left but were just in another exhibit room. He showed me that sometimes He highlights and puts the spotlight on other friends so that they may shine and they can see their true beauty. Others are in the backroom being worked on as we speak, I might not even know they are friends yet but they are being polished into their glorious beauty soon to make a grand entrance. He showed me that if some of the masterpieces weren't "removed" for a season I wouldn't have space in my life for new works of art. What a beautiful illustration of what a good, good Father He is!

He was faithful to show me in such a tangible and gentle way how wrong I was. At that moment, the lie of loneliness lifted, the perception of rejection gone, and a new sense of hope and love stirred up inside of me. I stepped back and looked at ALL the masterpieces in my life; the new, the old, the temporary, and the works in progress. I then realized how beautifully perfect His design was. Will you allow God to be not only the Creator of your life, but also the Curator? I promise you you'll be surprised at the beauty you'll find in your life because, you see the masterpiece's beauty is brought out in how it's displayed in the museum and the museum is nothing without its masterpieces.

Much love,

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**

Confession #20: Ministry was nothing like I thought it would be

A woman in ministry. What does that even look like? I know what I thought it was supposed to look like. And let me tell you this, when ministry found me I was in for a rude awakening. Yes, funny how that happens. When I surrendered my life to Jesus I had a very skewed, or maybe romanticized, view of what ministry was. You see, my whole life I loved children. I loved watching them, taking care of them, and playing with them. I even worked as a preschool teacher when I was in college. I love, love, loved it! You get the idea, right? So naturally, when it came time to serve the Lord I assumed that’s where He would call me to serve Him. I put on my rose colored glasses and my first attempt at ministry was a stint in the church’s children’s ministry. Though it was fine and fun, I never felt that children’s ministry was what the Lord had for me. Then one day, our youth pastor got on stage and talked about the need for volunteers on Monday nights and I eagerly decided to serve with the youth group. I was leading a small group of high school girls and I loved it. The Lord started preparing me for what would be my true calling and life mission through this season. Each week as I met with these girls, they would shape me as much as I shaped them. I was getting close, oh so close, but still when that season of serving was over I felt no loss or longing, just a sense of mission accomplished. 

So I continued to seek the Lord. I grew in my faith. I had no expectations or aspirations to pursue ‘formal” ministry. This was probably because I was not raised knowing anything about ministry. To be totally and honest I had never even heard of the word ministry until I started attending the inter-denominational church where I met and fell in love with the Lord at. Oh but soon I would learn. I would learn quickly and abruptly that there was a line drawn in the sand when it came to women and ministry. 

You were either in or you were out.

“Say what?!” you ask. I know, I know … I was a little confused too. So let me back up a minute and give you the background info. How can someone go from never even fully understanding what ministry was to feeling totally unqualified, excluded, and shunned from what I now call the Sorority of “Women in Ministry”. It all started innocently enough, with a Facebook post. Like most modern day dramas, it all started with Facebook. I remember the day so clearly, that as I sit and type this I realize that my heart must still hurt over this. That there’s more healing that must need to take place. But I’m rambling, so let me get back to my story. I was scrolling down my newsfeed and a friend of mine (a pastor’s wife, lovely both inside and out) posted about an upcoming conference; she shared the details with the link. I can’t remember who the main speaker was at the time, but I do remember that it was a speaker I had told my other friend about. I was excited to share with my friend just to say, “Hey, this is that lady I told you about”. So without thinking twice, I tagged my friend in the comments with a note along the lines of, “so and so, check this out”. I proceeded to log off of Facebook and go on with my day. When I did this I didn’t think anything of it or the other women that might have been tagged in the post. Nor did I notice who was hosting the event. All of that was irrelevant to me because like I said earlier, I was just pointing out something to my friend, kind of like how I would point out a car, handbag, or beautiful house I like with no actual intention of buying it. No foul, no harm. Right?

Wrong. 

Oh boy was I wrong. Little did I know I was about to be schooled in the Sorority of “Women in Ministry”. Later that evening I saw the red dot of suspense, I mean the notification dot. Facebook so kindly informed me that a prominent woman in ministry in my community had tagged me in a comment. I was curious to see what she had tagged me in, as we weren’t close but I admired her greatly. And then came the burn. She had pointed out very publicly and pointedly (remember she tagged me with my first and last name) that the event I had commented on was ONLY for pastor’s wives and “women in ministry”. Ouch.

I was confused, mad (fuming actually), and hurt. I had no clap back. All I had was the feeling of being sucker punched and the conversation in my head that went something like this:

1. Who are you to say I’m not a woman in ministry?

2. I didn't know there was a special club for these “special women” and the rest of us    were not invited.

3. If my place in the caste system was so low that I’m not even allowed to comment      on a post, why would I want to do ministry anyway?

4. I didn’t want to go to your stupid event anyway!!!!

These four thoughts went in and out, up and down, and around my head for hours, maybe even days. Then I realized something, my anger was just masking the very real and raw emotion that I didn’t want to face, REJECTION. I had come from a community of believers that were accepting and loved and celebrated me just as I was. A community where I didn’t even realize that what I was doing was “ministry”. I just wanted to serve the Lord and the church gave me the opportunity. Other than passing a background check to be able to work with kids and youth, nothing else was required of me. But now, now I found myself wading in unknown waters. I never in a million years would have thought that the Body of Christ would be so exclusive, elitist, and clique-y. So what was I to do? How was I to reconcile this rejection with my heart’s desire of serving the Lord? More importantly, how would the passion I had to help women discover their true identity in Christ, be affected by this? How when it was the same women who I thought were on my team were the ones to reject me? But God.

God. G-O-D. My Father, My Redeemer, My Healer, My Vindicator, My Hero, and My Everything. He was so good to me. If He loved me, and I knew He did, I could face anything. I could move past this rejection. He could heal the wounds from that painful sting and use that very wound to start a fire in my soul. You see, instead of allowing that seed of rejection grow and fester into bitterness, He changed my heart. He gave me grace. Grace for me and grace for those who never realized they had hurt me. And that fire that began to burn that day was the fire that fuels the passion for my life ministry, helping women know their identity in Christ so that they may live the purpose and call God has for their lives. I learned something so vital and so essential from the moment of that pivotal Facebook post: 

Ministry is not something that you do. Ministry is not something that you are in. Ministry is a way of life.

You beautiful woman of God, child of the Most High King, have been called to a life of service, a life consecrated unto Him, a life of ministry. What does that look like? It’s not Wednesday morning Bible Study, it’s not greeting at the church, serving in the kid’s ministry, attending conferences, writing a blog, speaking, preaching, or singing on a stage. I mean it can be all these things but sweet sister, it is SO MUCH MORE. It’s the way you smile at the new girl who just walked into church for the first time, it’s staying up late to help your husband study for his Board Exams, it’s feeding the homeless, it’s taking your daughter shopping or drying her tears after her first heartbreak, it’s praying for your coworker who doesn’t know the Lord, it’s giving a check to the family in your community who just lost it all, it’s loving on the unlovable, and sometimes it’s just making it through the day when you think you can’t go on. 

We are not part of the Sorority of “Women in Ministry”. We are the community of women living our ministries. 

The other night, I was on Facebook and I felt the Holy Spirit wanting me to share on the topic of ministry. If I can leave you with one thought on ministry it would be this:

As I sit here I reflect on this thing we call "ministry". Man, this is totally not what I signed up for. It's harder, messier, more complicated, and absurd than I could ever imagine.

It's also the most beautiful display and dance of God's love I've ever seen in action. So now what? So now I dance. I dance in the sunshine. I dance in the rain. I dance in the storms. When I'm drowning I give in and dance in the water until He gently and so gracefully lifts me up. I float and bask in His presence until he gently brings me to shore. And then? And then, my friends I get up and dance again. But this time I find someone to dance with, someone who hasn't heard a song in a very long time, the one who needs to dance the pounding of the heartbeat God has placed in the core of their being. And then we dance and dance some more. We bring others along with us as the love of the Father shines down on us all. And this, this is the beautiful imagery of ministry in action.

It's not about a 501c(3). It's not about a building. It's not about a board of directors or trustees. It's about relationship. It's about love. Our relationship with our Father overwhelming us to the brink so that nothing but love can pour out to those around us. It can be your family. It can be your workplace. It might be your sick husband or the mother in law you think you hate. It's the smile to the stranger. The sandwich to the homeless man lying filthy on the street. It can be all of this and so much more. It is all of this and nothing less. 

Do not despise where you are at. Do not crave position. Do not orchestrate a platform. Just be. Receive. Dance. Love.

This is ministry my friends. Nothing more and nothing less.

Don't love to be loved. Love because you are loved.

It’s messy, it’s rewarding, it’s complicated, and sweet. It’s not a club, sorority, or clique. It’s me and it’s you. Don’t give up. Keep on truckin’. Keep on keepin’ on. You are worth it. You are called. The world needs you because the world needs more women living in ministry, not just “women in ministry”.

Much Love,

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**

Confession #19: I've always wondered, what would happen if...

I have to say I love the "On this day" feature on Facebook. It's fun to see what I was doing or what was on my mind last year or six years ago. Some days I'm surprised by how much I've grown in my faith. Other days I long for the days where I heard so clearly from the Lord. Sometimes I see God's grace and His hand over my life and other times I just laugh at the silliness of my friends and myself. It can also be a not so fun feature, like when I see how much thinner I was five years ago or when I see reference of a friend that no longer is. But no matter what memories or feelings the trip down Facebook memory lane, it serves as a virtual scrapbook and let's be honest, ain't nobody got time to scrapbook (well, at least I don't).

One year ago today I posted a series of questions. Questions that were birthed out of a place of anger and frustration, a place of disappointment in how we treat each other as women. It was birthed out of love. These questions weren't hypothetical but more like a challenge for us to step up as women. We are failing each other and I believe these questions are still worth asking. We need to explore all these "What would happen if" scenarios. So as you read my Facebook post from a year ago I invite you to ask yourself "What if?" but more importantly ask yourself "What now?"

What would happen?

What would happen if women came together and supported each other? If they would encourage and uplift each other? If they would celebrate each others gifts and celebrated each other talents? What if they didn't feel threatened by each others successes and mentored other women so they could also succeed? What if they pulled their resources together and worked along side of each other? What would their ministries, businesses, legacies, and families look like if they did?

What if WE as women committed to try to do some things? If we were intentional on liking, sharing, and supporting the ventures, businesses, and ministries of the women in our sphere of influence? What if we were intentional to include people in our tribe and make them feel significant loved and included? What if we stopped idolizing celebrities and leaders and we celebrated the stay at home mom doing everything to keep it together,the homeless women just trying to make it another day, the teacher that loves and instructs your kids everyday, the beautiful lady that greets you at church, or that one that posts exactly what you needed to read on FB or Instagram? What if???

#womenneedwomen #celebrateeachother

Much Love, 

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**

Confession #13: It's all about the fight...song

So David arose early in the morning and left the flock with a keeper and took the supplies and went as Jesse had commanded him. And he came to the circle of the camp while the army was going out in battle array shouting the war cry.

1 Samuel 17:20

When I think about the battles of life, I think about how music and song have gotten me through some of the toughest battles of my life. One day as I was journaling the Lord revealed to me why this was. He showed me that throughout history, anytime a soldier went into combat, there would be a battle cry. Battle cry is defined as:

bat·tle cry

noun

1. a word or phrase shouted by soldiers going into battle to express solidarity and intimidate the enemy.

   synonyms:

   war cry, war whoop, rallying call/cry;  rebel yell "the army's battle cry"

Like the lyrics from the song by Rachel Platten, we all need a fight song. Something that reminds us and incites us into motion, into action. It gets you pumped up, it reminds you who you are, and that you can do it. I've had more than one battle cry throughout the years. Almost as if God gives me the perfect song right when I need it. 

Lyrics from "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten

Yesterday I discovered a new song. I half listened until the lyrics just shook me. This is the part that stood out to me:

We'll walk through fire and ice

Come out the other side with diamonds in our eyes

[Chorus]

So princess, hold your head high

Even if you have to cry

Don't let your crown fall

Don't let your crown fall

Your script is in the making

You can hold the aching but

Don't let your crown fall

The lyrics get even better, just take a listen for yourself...

So tonight, if you haven't yet ..find you're battle cry. Find your fight song. Life hits hard and you're gonna need it. And remember sweet sister...Don't let your crown fall.

Much love,

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**

Confession #12: What I learned sitting in my dark closet tonight.

Tonight I sat in my closet and did something I've done so many times before, I sat and prayed and talked to some of my favorite peeps behind the screen. I was using the app called Persicope to livestream some prayer time with others. Truth is for a season the Lord had me wake up every day around 6 am for this very purpose. It has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. 

My prayerscopes were a crucial part of the birth of my ministry Women's Night of Prayer, also known as WNOPtribe. In all honesty Periscope was an amazing tool and vehicle that the Lord used to bring together some of the most amazing people I've ever met. We are family and friends in the truest definition of the word. After not being on regularly in months I wasn't sure if anyone I knew would be on tonight. But then all of a sudden a familiar face popped up, sweet Marlene.

We also had some new people on tonight. Some from Turkey, a lady from Chicago, and other lovely people that came in to say hi.One thing I've always done on my scopes is be truthful and honest. That honesty became a huge blessing. When Marlene asked how I was doing, I was honest. I was good, but I was exhausted. I am in a rough season where I feel very isolated. We talked through it, we prayed through it...and then all of a sudden:

THE LIGHT IN MY CLOSET WENT OUT.

Just like that, no warning. I opened the door to let some light in and prepared to hop off. Oh no! God had another plan. The light going off,instead of discouraging Marlene it reminded her of the scripture below.

When she shared it, it hit me. This is the season I am in. This is the lifeline verse that I've been asking for. God used this moment to remind me that yes, I have fallen...but I will rise. That I might be sit ting in the darkness, but that He is my light.

It gave me a sense of relief. It was a reminder of everything that is true. That I am not alone. The darkness on the scope tonight only lasted until I opened the door. Once I did that, the light flooded in. 

It's time to arise! It's time to open the door!

Much love,

Cristina

**This is part of the 31 day series: Confessions of a Faithonista**

Confessions of a Faithonista

-- Attempt #2 of the write 31 challenge

So here I am again...October 1st with many high hopes to complete the challenge of writing for 31 days straight during the month of October. Last year I didn't fair so well on the consistency, I completed four maybe, five posts. I still consider this a win though. I had never committed to writing anything public before, and the nudge I received from my friend Larissa (go check her out at www.gr8tfulchick.com)was just what I needed at the time. And after a gentle nudge from her again this year, I decided I'm in...all in. 

To be honest I wasn't even sure what I would write about. The thought of keeping a theme for 31 days can be a little daunting. Okay, VERY daunting. So as she would ask me what I was thinking, I was at a loss. All I knew is that it would be faith related, and honestly I haven't been feeling spiritual or oozing with faith as of late. So of course the enemy of our souls took the opportunity to invade and flood my thoughts on how I had no business writing anything, much less anything related to faith. As I faced this dilemma and inner conversation, I decided to do one of things I do best, PROCRASTINATE. 

For years procrastination has been my go-to reaction in facing my problems, deadlines, and pretty much any situation. It's something I'm not at all proud of. It has caused lots of shame, pain, complications, and turmoil in my life. I can trace procrastination to some of the more painful moments in my life. That's pretty sad. As I sit here and type, I had no intention of even mentioning one of my biggest demons and character flaws but I guess it goes along perfectly with the series I want to develop over the next 31 days. 

A space where I share what's on my heart. A space where I can express the vulnerable, the ugly, the beauty, the messiness, and contradictions of a faithonista.

So what's a faithonista you may ask? Faithonista was a word that I believe the Lord gave me. It means to wear your faith and wear it well. Do I think I'm wearing my faith well right now? Honestly, no. But...and there's a huge but, I know that how I perceive I wear my faith is not the way God sees it. I know He sees me. I know He sees my faith. I might think I don't wear it well, but really it's not about what I think. God never said we had to be perfect to wear our faith. He says to come as we are. God never expected us to always have a smile on our faith but He promises us everlasting joy. He never desired for us to live up to worldly or societal expectations but to rather die to self and follow Him. So right now I'm a faithonista whether I believe it or not. Guess what? So are you!

...and so do you!

Sometimes I fall in the trap of not feeling good enough, worthy enough, beautiful enough, successful enough, or **fill in the blank** enough. One thing I do believe I always am is real enough. So this challenge comes at a perfect time, a time where I can confess whatever is on my heart. Just warning you, it might not all be upbeat and rainbows (blame it on the season I'm in) but it will always be filled with hope. Real, raw, messy, beautiful confessions straight from my heart intertwined with my views on faith and God is what I will write about. Why? I'll write about that because I think we all need a little bit of real and raw as we walk out our faith. Honestly, it's exactly what I need at the moment and a faithonista has to forget about what people expect of her so she can do what her heart yearns for.

Much Love,

Cristina

*P.S. - Know that I am praying for each and every one of you as I take this journey. If there's anyway I can pray for you specifically feel free to comment below or email me at WNOPtribe@gmail.com

*********************************************

The complete collection of confessions will be posted below as they go live, thanks for joining me on this journey!

Confession #1: I don't always go to church...and I don't feel guilty about it

Confession #2: I've battled anxiety...and I took all the meds

Confession #3: Tonight I don't feel like writing, like for reals!

Confession #4: Memes are my love language

Confession #5: To all my friends that no longer are...I love you

Confession #6: I wish that I could be like the cool kids...'cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in

Confession #7: No, I'm not ok.

Confession #8: I never know what I'm going to write about...until I do.

Confession #9: Last night I was too tired to write...so I didn't.

Confession #10: I have a tattoo...ok, maybe have 2

Confession #11: I travel 4 hours to get my hair done...

Confession #12: What I learned sitting in my dark closet tonight

Confession #13: It's all about the fight...song

Confession #14: You can keep your casserole...'cause I don't want it!

Confession #15: I wrote this post from my cell phone...

Confession #16: Food is the #1 thing that separates me from God.

Confession #17: How stuffing myself with food deafened my ears towards God

Confession #18: I suck at sending out thank you cards

Confession #19: I've always wondered, what would happen if...

Confession #20: Ministry was nothing like I thought it would be

Confession #21: I know my purpose...and I want you to know yours!

Confession #22: I should be writing Confession #30 today...but I'm a little behind

Confession #23: My Story...My Why

Confession #24: What God told me about friendships

Confession #25: Let God be the Curator, not just the Creator of your life

People Worship – What it is and how the Lord is stripping me of it.

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10

So today I sit here to write and before I even thought about starting, I felt like today’s post was going to be different. A little more personal, a little more revealing, a little more healing, and a lot more scary to type. Now I don’t know why that was. I have a rough list of some topics to write about but honestly, I just ask the Holy Spirit which direction I’m to go in each day. Sometimes a conversation with a friend will inspire me. Other times a Facebook post or a podcast might spark something in my spirit that makes me want to write. So I’m not sure what about today seemed different as I waited for the Lord to show me the direction He wanted me to go. I do know this everything that has happened my entire life and especially these last two weeks have been leading up to this post. I pray that once you read this you don’t find it underwhelming (this is part of my problem) but either way it doesn’t really matter. I am writing this for me, out of obedience to the Lord. Because I know that the other side of this post there is FREEDOM for me. And I don’t take that lightly. I yearn for a greater sense of freedom with each breath that I take. So I chose to submit to the calling of the Lord to write this and trust Him with the outcome.

My name is Cristina and I struggle with people pleasing. I might act like I don’t care what people think or say of me but I do. I care a lot. I care TOO MUCH. And the Lord has been sweet to reveal the “why” of this a few minutes as I went to sit down and write this. You wanna know why? I’ll tell you why, because

I WORSHIP PEOPLE.

Yes, it’s an ugly truth and I sit here in tears as I type this. Not out of shame but out of sadness that I’ve been displacing my God given need and ability to worship to something other than God. I’ve been asking the Lord to reveal and search my heart and it hit me like a tsunami of emotion. How do I know this is the root? How did I make the connection? Well, I’ve known most of my entire life that I was a people pleaser. I’d say yes to things I didn’t want to just so people would like me and not get angry, I’d go above and beyond my energy and resources to make everyone’s life easier at the expense of my sanity, health, family, relationships, and/or finances. And boy did I pay the price! I’d find myself being resentful and bitter towards people that would take “advantage” of my kindness. But the truth was, none of it came from a place of kindness, it came from a need. A need that no man or woman could fill. The approval of a person could never fill the hole that was in my heart. So what would I do when I got angry, upset, or disappointed? I’d stuff it. I’d stuff those feelings way down in the depths of my soul. Yet no matter how far I buried them the consequences and scars would not go away. They’d manifest in lashing out (every couple of years), depression, anxiety, insomnia, and whole slew of self-destructive behavior. It sounds pathetic and sad doesn’t it? But not all was lost.

For they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God. – John 12:43

Here’s the good news: When I started having a relationship with Jesus Christ I realized how broken I was and the only one who could save me was God. Things got better. I was delivered from anxiety, depression, and insomnia. My life totally changed. Some of it came instantaneously, other things took longer and I had to work through because healing and freedom comes in layers. The amazing thing about God is how He knows how much we can handle at once. The more I pressed in and sought Him, the more He would reveal and heal me. With each day since the day I was saved I can honestly say I have walked in more and more freedom.

Let’s fast forward to a couple of weeks ago when my iphone died the painful death of the white screen. One day, poof…it was gone. Now those who know me personally, know how attached I was to my phone. To say I was dependent on it is a huge understatement. But for some reason this time I didn’t go into a panic. Maybe I was too busy to care? I was busy but I doubt it. I started to feel a huge sense of freedom. It was bizarre. The item that I thought was my lifeline to the outside world, I was happier without. It felt nice to not be readily available to answer everyone’s questions. I enjoyed not being sucked into other people’s drama, or reading and participating in gossip talk (let me just say that if you’re talking about someone and it’s not uplifting and life giving, then it is GOSSIP…I’m guilty of it, won’t deny it). I FELT FREE! I loved it. I learned a lot which I’ll save for another time. One thing I noticed about myself was how horrible I felt about myself when people who I would hear from daily  fell into the abyss of the white screen when I no longer had a phone.

Sweet peeps, hear my heart: I know people are busy. We all have lives, families, priorities, life gets busy, things happen. I get it. And I pretty quickly realized it wasn’t about anyone…this was about me. I started to ask the Lord why I was feeling so alone and isolated. I had no reason to. I saw my friends, We had a  party, my family was here, I have great co-workers, a huge network of brothers and sisters I connect with online…I’m part of an AMAZING TRIBE! So what was wrong with me? What in my heart was off that I was feeling rejected and alone? To be totally honest and transparent, it came to an all-time high over the past couple of days. But now I realize the Lord allowed me to go through that storm, those feelings, to bring me to this point right now. He’s called me to write about worship and taking worship to a whole new level in our lives. But how could I do that if there was a part of me that still worshipped people? I wrote about it yesterday, displaced worship. The heart check was not how we worship but who or what we worship. And as I closed that blog post in prayer little did I know He would be answering my prayer so quickly.

You see now I know, and knowing is freedom and power. I can now surrender that to the Lord and allow Him to take me to a new level of freedom and that my friends is an exhilarating feeling. Once you get a taste of freedom you CRAVE more. People pleasing or people worship is placing people on a pedestal and expecting them to fulfill needs that only God can. It’s rooted in fear. Yes people pleasing is rooted in fear, fear of rejection, fear of man. I am no longer a slave to fear…I am a child of God!

Lord, we praise you for truth and revelation. We seek freedom in you and everything you have to offer. Holy Spirit wash over us, continue to open our eyes and hearts for anything that is holding us back from worshipping God, our Lord and Savior, the way He has called us to. Lord may we never seek the glory of man more than the glory of God. Lord we love you and thank you for healing and freedom. Teach us Lord how to worship you in ways worthy of our calling. In Jesus’ sweet and Holy name we pray. Amen.

Many Blessings,

Cristina

Why do we worship? - Part 2

The Question:

Why do we worship?

              

The Answer:

“First, because he’s worthy. Second, because that is what we were created to do.” George Piazzi

Today we explore the second part of the answer to the question, "Why do we worship?". If you are just jumping onto my blog, we dove into the first part of the answer in this post click here to read, "Why'd do we worship? -Part 1. With that out of the way, let's explore the second reason why we worship:

Because it is what we were created to do.

Yes. Wow, just wow. How do I even begin to try to explain this truth? I guess I really don't need to. It's cited time and time again in the Bible. You know that book that is living and active? Yes, that one. Let's read some of these together. It's important that we do. 

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.

Psalm 150:6 | NIV

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:25-26 

God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.

John 4:24 | NIV | 

Praise the Lord, my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;

his love endures forever.

1 Chronicles 16:34 | NIV

My mouth is filled with your praise,

declaring your splendor all day long.

Psalm 71:8 | NIV | 

You, God, are my God,

earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1 | NIV 

Why are we reading these? I will tell you why. We were designed and created to worship the One and True God, and when we don't...the consequences are deadly. I know, I know...that might sound harsh and overly dramatic but it is the TRUTH. When we go against what we were created for and what we were created to do, we are going against God's perfect plan for our lives, we are going against what is natural, what is divine, what is holy. And that, my sweet peeps is a threat to the health of our souls, our bodies, our finances, our relationships, even our salvation (if we haven't accepted Jesus Christ the Lord and Savior of our lives). I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty deadly to me.

Have you ever noticed how some people (maybe even yourself...let's keep it real now)have no problem raising their hands in the air and screaming to the top of their lungs at a concert yet they feel uncomfortable doing it at church or to a song that sings of God's greatness and glory? I call it out not to be judgmental or act superior. I call it out because, THAT WAS ME. Have you ever wondered why this is? It's simple, it's because worship is what we were created to do. That's why it feels so natural. Music and song are the languages God created to praise and give Him glory. So our bodies and our spirits, naturally ease into this expression of worship. And you know who knows this better than any one of us? The enemy does.

Those who know me and know my heart, know that I don't like to give the enemy too much credit. Our God is greater than any deceiver, accuser, or demon. THAT IS TRUTH. And even though he is a defeated foe and the victory is ours, it doesn't mean he doesn't try to keep us separated from God. You see, the enemy before his fall, was the greatest of the worship angels in heaven. Music was his language. We also know that for every trait, gift, and blessing that comes from God, the enemy has a cheap counterfeit.

So what does he do? What is the scheme? He diverts our worship to the latest rock star. He has us singing along pointless words to a pop song, grinding to vulgar lyrics as we raise our hands in the air and sing about things we would never do (or admit to doing). Sneaky isn't he? And he doesn't always use music. Sometimes we worship and bow to other things like; friendships, money, status, power, social groups, food, drugs, or maybe that bottle of wine. I'm no prude, but we are living in times where beautiful women of God, His princesses, daughters of the Most High King post memes celebrating and worshipping the glass of wine they're going to have at the end of the day. No judgment here, I've done that many a time and I could go on and on with examples or stupid ways I've worshipped the wrong things. But my heart isn't to condemn or shame or make us feel guilty on our displaced worship. Because the truth is that I write these posts not so much for you, as I do for myself. 

I believe the Lord wants to set us free. He wants us to identify our displaced worship so that we can repent and bring it back to Him. He wants us to bring our focus back to Him. Not for His sake but for the sake of our hearts and souls. He wants us to empty our hearts of anything that's not of Him so we can do what we were created to do...Worship Him! That will look differently in each one of us. He made us beautifully unique and different. In my case it might look like raising my hands at church or in the car. To you it might be creating a beautiful meal for your friends and family, offering your workout or eating plan for His glory. For  your friend it might be writing, offering a smile, or serving in kid's ministry. You might show your acts of worship in the workplace, through your art, homeschooling your kids, or how you steward your finances. It's all of that.  There is no right or wrong way to worship. The determining factor or heart check isn't how you worship but rather who or what you worship.

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating us in Your image. We praise You and love You Lord. Holy Spirit reveal in our hearts anything that we are worshipping that is not God. Lord we refuse to accept counterfeits in our lives, especially when it comes to who or what we are worshipping. Lord we turn away from worshipping anything that is not You. We thank you and praise You for your grace and eternal forgiveness. It is in Jesus' sweet and Holy Name that we pray. Amen.

Many Blessings, 

Cristina